Who am I? What am I doing? How did I get here? Where am I going?
Sound familiar? If you're like me in anyway, you'll ask these questions of yourself on a frighteningly regular basis. Of course, it is essential for us to ask these questions of ourselves from time-to-time; it keeps us from standing still, encourages us to keep moving forwards, and is a good way of checking in - but if you find that you're asking these questions a little too often then you may have lost connection with yourself.
Sounds silly, doesn't it? How can one lose connection with oneself? Surely we are automatically connected to ourselves? But in my experience that isn't so. Our relationship with ourselves requires as much (if not more) work than any other significant relationship in our lives. Sadly, losing connection with oneself is a common phenomenon - one which is only spreading as the demands of modern day life increase - and I can almost guarantee that you'll have fallen victim to it at some point in your life.
Have you ever been through a whole day and then when you hit the pillow wondered what you've actually done with your time? Have you ever gone to chat to your partner about your week and totally blanked when it came to remembering what you did just yesterday? Have you gone a whole week without exercising or taking time to yourself simply because other things have got in the way? (Beginning to see where I'm going with this?) Well, if the answer to any of these questions is "yes" then you will have experienced that disconnection that I'm trying to explain.
It's very easily done with the delights, stresses, and strains that come with life in the 21st century. There are so many different people, passions and options to distract, entertain and consume us. It's a wonder many of us even find the time to sleep each night (well, most of us don't even get enough of that). And actually it's incredibly easy to lose oneself amongst all the madness of modern day life. But from personal experience when I lose connection with myself and how I'm really doing under all the layers, that's when I begin to shake and to feel unsteady in myself and what I'm doing. Do you know that feeling?
If you do then please don't freak out - you are not lost forever, you simply need to take some time to spend time with yourself, to look after yourself, and to reconnect with your inner being. From experience here are a few tips to rediscovering that connection to yourself:
1.
Accept where you are. You are where you are and you can't change it in this exact moment. What you can do is to accept it and to make a decision as to what you're going to do next.
2.
Be kind to yourself. Don't be hard on yourself for where you are. You've obviously been busy, there's been a lot going on, and you just haven't made yourself a priority. See this as an admirable quality in yourself: it's good to be busy and to be concerned with others. But now it's time to tag-out for a bit and to give yourself some well-deserved love; so be kind, be gentle and be patient.
3.
Schedule time to just "be you". Whether this is going for a walk, sitting quietly to meditate, listening to some calming music, doing some gentle exercise - just be sure to schedule in the time and to stick to it. You need this time to be quiet, to reflect on what's been going on, and to start reconnecting with yourself. For me, I find the most effective way of reconnecting with myself is getting on my mat and doing a really slow, gentle yoga practice, followed by some quiet meditation time. But that's how I do it, and you'll do it differently, and that's just fine - find out what works for you and go with it it.
4. Assess how you lost connection with yourself. By assessing how you lost connection with yourself you can make sure that if it begins to happen again you'll be able to spot the red flags, take some time out, and prevent losing that connection again.
5. Make small adjustments to your routine. So your reasons for losing connection probably involve being too busy, taking on too much, and not taking time for yourself. Take a step back and re-prioritise what is important in your life and what you can cut down. It's very likely there'll be small changes you can make that will allow you to prioritise "You" again. Be sure to make some time for yourself at least every few days (ideally you'll find at least 10 minutes in each day where you can just be with yourself, but this won't always be possible). Sit quietly with a cup of tea, do some gentle stretching, practice some mindfulness. Just do something that allows you to zone out of the world around you and to point your gaze inwards.
So if you identified with those questions at the beginning then I hope you can find some time to follow these basic steps, to reconnect with yourself, and to show yourself some love.
Last Saturday I based my yoga class around connecting with the self and encouraged my students to focus on small things: the pace and depth of their breath, scanning their bodies for any tension, and connecting their thumbs with their sternum to feel the connection to their hearts. These are all really simple physical things that you can do to help connect mind, body and breath. If you want to find out more about how yoga can help you to be connected to yourself then either send me a message, or, if you live near Ascot (Berkshire, UK), then please do come along to my classes on Saturday mornings, 10-11am, in Cheapside Village Hall, £8 per person. This week the class will be based on accepting where you are so that you can build up from there.
So my message for today is be connected to you. You are important. Know yourself, spend time with yourself, love yourself. If you lose that connection then don't panic, take a breath and take some time. You're in there and you're not going anywhere, just invest in yourself and you'll be calm and confident in who you are and where you are.
Namaste y'all!
Love Lucy x
