Be fearlessly, authentically and unapologetically You

If you were anything like me in your teenage and young adult life you spent much of your time comparing yourself to others, wishing you were someone else. Someone always had nicer hair, was prettier, was skinnier, was better at sport, had a better singing voice. I wasn't good enough at anything. And not only that, I very often tried to change myself to be like those I thought were better than me. I'd try to copy their hairstyles, I'd try to lose weight to be skinny like them, I'd wear clothes that didn't feel comfortable, I'd adapt the "cool" words they used, I'd agree with opinions I didn't believe in - all because more than anything I wanted to be someone else. I didn't want to be me. And it was an exhausting and miserable time.

As a health and happiness warrior I probably shouldn't admit that sadly, even now in my mid-twenties after various sessions of Cognitive Behaviourial Therapy, countless yoga classes, and completing yoga teacher training, I still compare myself to others more often than I should. I don't have a high flying job, I don't own a house, I'm fatter than my friends, they're prettier than me, I'm generally not as good as other people...but I try to stop myself there. I try to stop the negativity and comparisons, and although this doesn't always work it does help to take control of my thoughts, to step outside of my own mind, and to mentally check in to what I'm doing to myself. Stay with me on this, it's not all doom-and-gloom - there is hope; I no longer change who I am or what I'm doing to fit in with others or to try and make myself feel better. I have learned that changing who I am is not the way forward. It is counterproductive and ultimately fruitless.

So although I still compare myself to others, and although I often wish I was different to how I am, I have learned to accept that I am Me and no matter how hard I try I will never be someone else. Since accepting this I have slowly learned to see that actually our differences can be our greatest assets. Imagine a world where everyone looked the same, thought the same, acted the same - I shudder at the thought. Our differences make this world interesting and varied. Your differences make this world interesting and varied. My differences make this world interesting and varied. Together we make up this crazy, beautiful, fascinating race we call humanity. You are part of that, I am part of that. And we should all learn to accept, love and be kind to ourselves for being exactly who we are.

There will only ever be one You. No one else in the whole entire world - past or present - will be You.  Only You will walk Your journey. Only You can do exactly what You do. Only You can be You. One of my amazing yoga teachers in India - Steph - was the first one to really get this message through to me. She was teaching us a gentle evening vinyasa flow overlooking the Goan ocean, and the intention for her class taught me more about how important it was that I was Me than any therapy session ever has. I don't know if it was the setting, the fact I'd been forced to turn a mirror to my soul during weeks of yoga teacher training, or simply that Steph has an amazing way with words and the world's biggest heart - but her words entered my wounds like none had managed to before and in child's pose I just burst into tears...

Despite having a lot of hurt in my past surprisingly this was the only time I cried on my teacher training (I had expected to cry loads!), and my reasons for crying at this particular message were simple: 1) I couldn't believe that I'd spent so much of my young life hating myself and putting myself down, and 2) I was utterly relieved that I finally understood that it was okay to be Me, and that I didn't have to waste any more time wishing I was someone different. I have been put in this world, exactly as I am, for a reason - and if I run away from that then not only am I doing myself a disservice, but I'm also not taking up my responsibility to the world. Only I can do what I am meant to do. Only you can do what you're meant to do. You just have to be brave enough to stop comparing, stop wishing you were someone else, and to fully embrace yourself exactly as you are.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” 

~ Dr Seuss

The world needs you to be You. Not some version of you that is diluted by falsity and polluted by self-hatred. Yes, I am not perfect, you are not perfect, but NO ONE is perfect. And no one ever will be perfect. Why? Because we're human. And that's what makes us beautiful. Our humanity. Our differences. Our uniqueness. 

I'm not going to pretend that since that moment in Steph's yoga class I have completely accepted who I am - I still have my wobbles and moments where I compare myself to others (mainly nowadays it's all about how I look rather than who I am) - but on the whole I am much more accepting of myself, and when I find the negative thoughts creeping in I am much better at putting a stop to them. I remind myself that being horrid to myself brings about more harm than good. It is wasted energy. I'll then think about something positive I've done, or something I like about myself, or just a situation that's bringing me happiness. And following this cognitive pattern helps a lot (something I did learn from all those therapy sessions!). 

Even if you're in a headspace where you just can't be kind to yourself, try to remember that actually it is your ultimate responsibility to be You. If you shy away from that responsibility then you are denying the world of You. You are special. And you were made to be You, and to share your Youness with the world. We all know the phrase "No man is an island" from John Donne's poem. No matter how hard you try, you must and will impact this world in some way on a daily basis. Every action, every word, every moment you are impacting someone or something. So do it as You. Do it as your purest, truest self. This is your responsibility. 

And once you can see this I hope that you can reach a headspace where you can accept yourself, appreciate yourself, and ultimately love yourself exactly as you are. You may not believe me the first time, you may not believe me the second time, you may not believe me the millionth time, but I will make it my mission in life to show as many people as I can - and yes, that's You too - that they (and You) are worthy, are amazing, and are imperfectly perfect. 

So be Fearless. Be Authentic. Be You. 

Love & light. Namaste y'all <3

Lucy x

Following your dreams is easy. Living them is much harder.

It's now been almost 6-months since I became a yoga teacher, and 5-months since I got back from my Indian adventure. And what a few months it has been. I've taught some incredible students, I've been humbly supported by amazing family and friends, I've been happier than I've ever been, I've been more terrified and frustrated than I've ever been, I've felt strong, I've felt weak, I've felt confused, I've met some inspirational new people, I've reconnected with old friends, I've been on a crazy emotional roller coaster that I've sometimes wanted to jump right off of but I've hung on tight in the totally mad faith that everything will unfold just as it's supposed to. And it's all been in the name of yoga and finally LIVING my dream.

Dream catcher, Varkala, India, 2015

Don't misunderstand this: I 100% absolutely and completely love teaching yoga. It literally lights up my heart and connects me with my true self. I have found what I love, and for that I am truly grateful. If I could teach yoga to people every day all day then life would be much easier. But when you start out actually living your dreams things don't quite work like that.

Some of my beautiful yoginis & yogis in London, 2015

Although it seemed like a tough decision at the time, following my dreams was actually the easy thing to do - my heart was telling me which way to go, I wasn't living life as I wanted to, and so I followed the direction it was telling me to go. Yes that step took a bit of faith, but who wouldn't want to go to India for a few weeks and learn more about something they love?

And the first few weeks of being back weren't so bad either. Fresh with enthusiasm off the beaches of Goa I was spreading the word about my teaching, happy to gain any experience I could whilst supporting myself with a job in my local tavern. This gave me the chance to settle back into life at home and to bring myself slowly back down to earth whilst keeping the dream very much alive. As I began to get back into the rhythm of life back home I was grateful for my regular tavern job, but equally I realised I needed to be in control of my own time more to allow me to free up potential yoga-teaching hours. Over the months I've slowly cut down my shifts and have picked up some freelance social media jobs to keep me ticking over.

This all sounds pretty straight forward, but there has been one massive black cloud hanging over me this whole time and that is: MONEY. Yes, I now have much less attachment to material things than I did previous to my yoga teacher training, but nonetheless that doesn't change that I do need money to survive. I'm 25 years old and still live at home, depending on parents for more than I should, and this fact often really drags me down. I know I shouldn't let it, but it does. I am incredibly fortunate and grateful that I'm in a position where my parents and willing and able to support me through this phase of living my dream, but most of the time that thought is overclouded by "oh shit, I need to become self-sufficient" - something which I dream of on a daily basis, but that feels so far away.

And that's the other thing about actually living my dream, it seems I didn't really consider before this decision that financially things could be really quite tough for a number of years to come. On this very day over £200 per week of my income has been unexpectedly pulled from under my feet. Nothing I could have done about it, it was just one of those things, but it terrifies me that this is the reality of what it means to be your own boss...

But before you think "oh dear, living your dream sounds terrible, I think I'll stay where I am thanks", let me tell you that I wouldn't change my decision for the world. Yes, this isn't proving to be easy, but I never thought that it would be. When you go against the conventional path then of course things will be tough. I know that I'll face rejections, will have to climb over massive walls, and will be let down time-and-time again, but if I can keep going against all that then I know that it will all work out as it's supposed to. And how am I going to keep going? I'm going to continue doing what I was made to do - to love, to share yoga, to be compassionate - and I'm going to work my freakin' arse off. And as long as I stay true to myself and put the work in, I really do believe that things will come together.

#yogaeverydamnday

And if they don't? At least I tried. At least I didn't give in to what's expected instead of what's in my heart. At least I actually gave a damn about making the world even a tiny bit better than when I came into it.

And on the same day as having a job unexpectedly pulled, I've also potentially got two new exciting yoga opportunities that I really didn't expect...so maybe trusting the process isn't as crazy as it sounds...

Please do message me if you have any questions about yoga or life! And know that you're always welcome to join my classes - more info can be found on my website.

Namaste y'all <3

Love Lucy x

Celebrating women & you

On Sunday my Facebook feed was wonderfully full of friends and media celebrating inspirational women. The 8th March has been International Women's Day since 1913 and is a day which is set aside to celebrate women's achievements and to promote gender equality. This year more ever it seemed that the general public, the media, and campaigns such as He For She were all focused on celebrating women and proclaiming the need for closing the gender gap. Now although I believe in equal rights for all, I'm not about to write a post on gender equality as there are many others who know much more about the subject and who can do a much better job of laying down the facts, but what I do want to do is encourage you to be confident as a woman and to let you know that you're perfect as you are, as well as to encourage women worldwide to support one another and to build one another up. 

Image source: Pinterest

I am a big believer in focusing on people's good points, and often find myself thinking thoughts such as "she's so pretty", "I love her coat", "that's a great thing you're doing" etc., and I always used to internalise these thoughts, being almost embarrassed to complement my fellow females. Instead I'd often turn these thoughts into a negative, comparing myself thinking things such as "she's so pretty, why am I not as pretty?", "I love her coat, why are my clothes no good?" and "that's a great thing you're doing, why can't I do something like that?". 

It was my own silly fault that I had these negative thoughts, and they only served to deepen my insecurities. Going to an all-girls school from the age of 8-18 also didn't help much. On the whole I had some really lovely friends there, but during the awkward young teenage years I was bullied by a few of my peers, and some of their comments have stuck with me to this day. One particular incident that has stuck with me happened when I was 13-years-old; one of my classmates was going around the class pointing out the girls she deemed pretty enough to "be a model". On reaching me she pointed and laughed in front of the whole class: "you definitely couldn't be a model". And she was right, as things have turned out I could never have been a model, but for an insecure 13-year-old girl it was a crushing comment that dented my already-low confidence hugely. The comment was delivered either through negligence or through a genuine desire to cause pain, either way was it really necessary? And what did it achieve? The answer is no. It achieved absolutely bugger-all. 

Life isn't a competition. We are each perfect in our uniqueness. We ladies are not here to compete with one another, we would get nothing done if this were the case. There is no reason whatsoever for us to put each other down, it doesn't make us stronger, it doesn't produce positive results, it only causes pain and exposes our own insecurities. And so by my experience, by internalising positive thoughts about our fellow women and also by expressing negative ones, these are surefire ways to keep confidence low. So why not try vocalising positive thoughts about your lady friends? (And your man friends too for that matter!). I also believe that "your vibe attracts your tribe" (so the saying goes ;)), so if you are an openly positive person then I am sure you will attract other openly positive people who will help to make you feel even more positive, and the positivity circle will continue! 

Since being more open about my positive thoughts on other women I have most definitely noticed a change in my own thought pattern. The more you vocalise positivity the more it is affirmed, and by saying out loud "I like this about you", you immediately create an environment of positivity and there is little room for any negative voices in your head. Furthermore I find that if a complement is genuine the person who has been complemented will a) be unavoidably pleased and b) will often offer a genuine complement back. When people are complemented it breaks down that barrier of embarrassment which I previously mentioned, and they're much more open to expressing their positive thoughts. 

So ladies (and gentlemen), I urge you to open up. Celebrate the positive. Complement your friends. Complement your family. Complement your colleagues. Complement strangers. But only if you really mean it. And this will foster an environment around you where women build one another up, where we feel genuinely happy for one another when good things happen, and where we are genuinely proud of each other's achievements. 

I've been extremely blessed growing up with a mother, aunties, sister and grandmothers who have all supported me and inspired me. I have amazing friends from all walks of life who have each helped me in their own ways. I have had some really strong female role models who have helped me to realise that there are no limitations to what I can achieve. And I have been extremely blessed with the opportunities that have been provided to me in terms of education and experiences. Thank you to all the amazing ladies who have inspired me and supported me; there are too many of you to name but you are all amazing and I'll let you know in my own way over time how grateful I am. 

To finish, I know I said this post wasn't going to be about gender equality, but despite us being in the 21st century it is still an issue, and so I do urge you to look into projects which champion girls rights to see how you can get involved. Check out campaigns such as the Street Child United girls programmes, He For She, This Girl Can - and see what you can do to help celebrate and support some wonderful women, as well as bringing your own voice to the table. 

And guys, we love you too, without you we would not be able to do what we do, and without us you would not be able to do what you do. Let's work together on this for a just world in which gender is not an issue. Let's celebrate all humankind. Guys build up your fellow guys. Guys build up girls. Girls build up guys. And of course, girls build up girls. Let's all support each other. 

This post has been a little random, but I just wanted to share with you all my experience of how being positive towards our fellow women can really make a huge difference. This is of course true for all our fellow human beings, but there is an unhealthy tendency amongst us ladies to feel like we're in competition with one another, when in fact the opposite is true. We're a team and if we work as one then we really will be unstoppable!

So practice telling yourself that you are perfect as you are, practice being openly positive, and I am sure that your world will become a much more supportive and happy place. 

Namaste y'all!

Love Lucy x