Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Following your dreams is easy. Living them is much harder.

It's now been almost 6-months since I became a yoga teacher, and 5-months since I got back from my Indian adventure. And what a few months it has been. I've taught some incredible students, I've been humbly supported by amazing family and friends, I've been happier than I've ever been, I've been more terrified and frustrated than I've ever been, I've felt strong, I've felt weak, I've felt confused, I've met some inspirational new people, I've reconnected with old friends, I've been on a crazy emotional roller coaster that I've sometimes wanted to jump right off of but I've hung on tight in the totally mad faith that everything will unfold just as it's supposed to. And it's all been in the name of yoga and finally LIVING my dream.

Dream catcher, Varkala, India, 2015

Don't misunderstand this: I 100% absolutely and completely love teaching yoga. It literally lights up my heart and connects me with my true self. I have found what I love, and for that I am truly grateful. If I could teach yoga to people every day all day then life would be much easier. But when you start out actually living your dreams things don't quite work like that.

Some of my beautiful yoginis & yogis in London, 2015

Although it seemed like a tough decision at the time, following my dreams was actually the easy thing to do - my heart was telling me which way to go, I wasn't living life as I wanted to, and so I followed the direction it was telling me to go. Yes that step took a bit of faith, but who wouldn't want to go to India for a few weeks and learn more about something they love?

And the first few weeks of being back weren't so bad either. Fresh with enthusiasm off the beaches of Goa I was spreading the word about my teaching, happy to gain any experience I could whilst supporting myself with a job in my local tavern. This gave me the chance to settle back into life at home and to bring myself slowly back down to earth whilst keeping the dream very much alive. As I began to get back into the rhythm of life back home I was grateful for my regular tavern job, but equally I realised I needed to be in control of my own time more to allow me to free up potential yoga-teaching hours. Over the months I've slowly cut down my shifts and have picked up some freelance social media jobs to keep me ticking over.

This all sounds pretty straight forward, but there has been one massive black cloud hanging over me this whole time and that is: MONEY. Yes, I now have much less attachment to material things than I did previous to my yoga teacher training, but nonetheless that doesn't change that I do need money to survive. I'm 25 years old and still live at home, depending on parents for more than I should, and this fact often really drags me down. I know I shouldn't let it, but it does. I am incredibly fortunate and grateful that I'm in a position where my parents and willing and able to support me through this phase of living my dream, but most of the time that thought is overclouded by "oh shit, I need to become self-sufficient" - something which I dream of on a daily basis, but that feels so far away.

And that's the other thing about actually living my dream, it seems I didn't really consider before this decision that financially things could be really quite tough for a number of years to come. On this very day over £200 per week of my income has been unexpectedly pulled from under my feet. Nothing I could have done about it, it was just one of those things, but it terrifies me that this is the reality of what it means to be your own boss...

But before you think "oh dear, living your dream sounds terrible, I think I'll stay where I am thanks", let me tell you that I wouldn't change my decision for the world. Yes, this isn't proving to be easy, but I never thought that it would be. When you go against the conventional path then of course things will be tough. I know that I'll face rejections, will have to climb over massive walls, and will be let down time-and-time again, but if I can keep going against all that then I know that it will all work out as it's supposed to. And how am I going to keep going? I'm going to continue doing what I was made to do - to love, to share yoga, to be compassionate - and I'm going to work my freakin' arse off. And as long as I stay true to myself and put the work in, I really do believe that things will come together.


And if they don't? At least I tried. At least I didn't give in to what's expected instead of what's in my heart. At least I actually gave a damn about making the world even a tiny bit better than when I came into it.

And on the same day as having a job unexpectedly pulled, I've also potentially got two new exciting yoga opportunities that I really didn't expect...so maybe trusting the process isn't as crazy as it sounds...

Please do message me if you have any questions about yoga or life! And know that you're always welcome to join my classes - more info can be found on my website.

Namaste y'all <3

Love Lucy x

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